Le Piccole Cose

Our generation can be characterized as ambitious, head-strong, and determined. There is nothing that will stop us from being the best that we can be. There is nothing that will block our path to greatness. We will go down in history and be remembered for eternity. So why am I writing? This simple post will not be remembered. It will most likely go unread except by a few. But for those that do read this, we must remember to stop, take a break, and enjoy the little things.

There is nothing wrong with going full-throttle. In fact it is praised. The media places CEO's of multimillion dollar industries in the cabinet with the fine China's. Society has raised us to go into every venture with full force. If we're going to do it, we must be the best at it. Companies only take the most qualified, Ivy Leagues only take the top tier students, the battle for graduate school is cut throat, even when buying groceries we must pick the best looking, or most ripe fruits. When something doesn't go our way we get furious and upset. When something does not taste the way we want it to we cringe and question what is wrong with it. Everything must be perfect. Everything must be ideal.

But what is perfect is right in front of us. Just look outside that window and look at the beauty. It may be simple like an alley, or a road. Or it may be something grand like the ocean, or the city lights. But no matter what it is, if you just take a minute out of your life and look, it's amazing. When I look outside my window, I usually see the same kids playing outside and I can't help but smile. Life is so simple. It isn't some mystery that must be pondered upon. All you have to do is stop. So many little things go unnoticed. Days go by and you don't know if it was a good or bad day. You'll pass people you know and say hi, then you'll forget that it happened. We're so focused on the big picture. We're so focused on the future that we won't have a now. A lot of people complain that they wish they were still kids. But what's so different about then and now? We still had to go to school. We still had to do homework. We still had to study for tests. We will went out and played with friends. We think because we get older everything becomes different. But we have the same responsibilities throughout our entire lives. We must balance school with family and friends. We must take care of siblings, relatives, and parents. And we must try and become successful. And that is where many of us get lost.

Success is not measured by the amount of money we make, or what position we hold. Success is measured by happiness. Now happiness is different for everyone, but in the end it's all relative. Right now I'm successful. I'm enjoying what I'm doing and I'm not taking anything too seriously. This may be looked down upon by some, but why? Why is looking at the now such a terrible thing? The future isn't going anywhere, and it's going to happen whether we like it or not, so why not enjoy now? When people tell me to grow up, or that I'm immature, I don't take offense to it. I realize now that I actually like it. Only because I know I'm enjoying myself. I'm enjoying life. And there is nothing I would change. In reality it is those people that need to grow up. They are so into themselves and are so willing to do anything that they never do any growing. They only know one speed and don't bother with what they have. There's always something better that can be achieved, better friends to be made, a better job that offers more money. But it's those small things, close friends, and a job that you truly want that helps your growth.

So the next time you're walking and thinking about the future, stop. Take a look around your surroundings, not just what's in front of you, and take everything in. Write down things that made you happy or sad that day. Take notice when you happen to cross paths with a friend, or if someone goes out of their way to say hi to you. The future isn't going anywhere, it hasn't even happened yet. So enjoy now. I'll forever be a child at heart, but at the same time I'll continue to grow up. So take your foot off the accelerator and brake.

Draft Status

Every team has specific needs, wants, and goals. They draft players that reflect their ideals and quality team play. But out of all the players ever to be drafted, there are those with the most "upside" or "potential". They are the projects that the team must build and train to become that perfect, complete player.

Besides getting paid millions of dollars, we are all exactly the same.

We build up our stats and fill out forms to be declared eligible. Colleges look at our numbers and pick the sure-fire ones, just as any good team would do. Then they look at the rest of the board and start picking and scratching. That is where the potential grade comes in. But potential is such a difficult thing to understand. Most of the time it goes untouched and is left dormant. Then there are those that train and practice for hours, push boundaries, and do everything they physically and mentally can to become the best player to ever play the game. And that is why we are blessed with players like Kobe Bryant, Adrian Peterson, and Derek Jeter. And it's also why we are blessed with people such as Kenneth Kinzler, Ghandi, and Helen Keller.

But to harness that potential there needs to be motivation. There has to be some sort of goal that we deem worthy enough to unleash our massive amount of potential. Even after a full year of college, and half a quarter, I still don't really know what I want to do. I've been juggling a few ideas in my head, writing down pros and cons of each, but in the end, I want to do every single one of those jobs. I want to teach. I want to be a doctor. I want to work in sports. I want to build things. But no matter which career I pursue I know I want to give it my all.

It was always hard for me to sit down and focus on the task at hand because I never saw the bigger picture. But slowly it's becoming clear. Right now my goal is to build up my G.P.A and transfer from my current team. Not because I don't enjoy it, but because I know my potential can be developed more at a higher institution. Midterm week passed and I was shocked to see some of my scores. For the first time in my life I saw what my hard work could do. I saw my potential coming into being. And now I finally have something to live up to. So far I've been doing things to please my parents. To please myself. But now I know neither of those things matter to me. What I'm living up for is to see other people realize their own potential and seize it.

It's taken me far too long to understand what I'm capable of. I've felt like a late round pick just roaming and doing just enough to stay on a team. But not anymore. I'm sick of sitting on the bench and being a cheerleader. It's time for me to make a comeback and become a starter. It's my time, UCLA or bust!

Pen and Paper

I want to write. Something.
So much emphasis is put on writing throughout education, but teachers and professors never open up the writing realm to anything creative. To anything the writer wishes to write. Everything must follow the given prompt and a specific structure. We must write down long, fancy words that no one truly knows the definition to so that we may appear smart. We must follow the five paragraph structure to the dot. Anything that fails to do so is unacceptable. That is what we have learned. That is what we have been taught. So we have adapted to dread writing. The words we put on pages no longer have any meaning. They are bullshitted thoughts with a few words changed with the thesaurus option. There is no longer a passion to write. There is only hatred.

I took a Creative Writing class my first quarter of college that opened my eyes. The class showed me that writing can have meaning. It showed me that words can once again be genuine instead of the crap we write every two weeks. At the beginning of every class we had a freewriting exercise. We were told to push our limits, to step beyond our boundaries, to get out of our comfort zone and write.
A word is not the same with one writer as with another. One tears it from his guts. The other pulls it out of his overcoat pocket.
~Charles Peguy

I want to write. Someday.
Not because I have to. But because I want to.

Trial and Error

From as far back as I can remember I loved breaking things apart and putting them back together. I had a love for legos, blocks, and anything with screws and wires. My mom believed that I would become an architect or do some sort of designing. Even to this day I fix things around the house. But there are just some things that I can't fix.

We learn through trial and error. You try something, if you don't get it, then you try again until eventually you get it. My mom always tells me the same thing whenever I want to give up, or I tell her I can't do it.
"Nobody is born knowing how to do everything."
And nobody is. We all have to go through life trying new things and experiencing defeats. But when you fight through all the struggles and come out a winner, there is that sense of accomplishment, that sense of pride. And whenever you look at yourself in the mirror you can say, "hey I did something today." And I've carried that idea over to my life.

Everyone has their flaws, but that's what makes us human. It's how we carry ourselves and adjust to new environments that reflects on the person that we are. Everyone is different, but everyone is the same. We all want to go to a good school, get good grades, have a nice solid group of friends, and to have a respectable future. We go through our lives re-inventing ourselves. And that's because we don't know everything. We have to try different things, hang out with different people, make numerous decisions. Sometimes what we choose is wrong, sometimes what we choose is right, but we have to make those choices.
There's a point in everyone's life when they decide on what they want to do, and on who they want to be. But we still continue to make errors and there's no way of stopping that. What we can do is learn from those errors so we won't make those same bad decisions.

But sometimes no matter how hard you try, there are just some things you can't fix.

In The Year Two Thousand

I blinked. 2008 is gone.

I sit here wishing to write something meaningful. To write something beautiful that others can relate to. I sit here reflecting on the past year. Graduation, Prom, the Friendships gained and lost, College. I sit here knowing that I don't have any regrets. I sit here knowing that I won't have any regrets. And I sit here looking at the New Year.

My friend told me a story about a girl that he met at orientation. She told him that what she wanted out of college was to find herself. When I heard this story I thought that statement was a load of crap and I busted up laughing. But lately I've been thinking about that statement. Normally I don't make New Year's resolutions because I know I'm not going to live up to them, and this year is no different. But I want that statement lodged in the back of my mind.

I blinked. 2009 is here.

"So this is the New Year
And I don't feel any different"